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Archive for January 4th, 2016

Coping With Helen Angst

Helen Angst Lunaticism

This advisory just came in following an urgent SOS message of appeal to specialists. It answers, ‘How to deal with the lunacy Helen Angst’, and this begins, first, with recognition of the madness, a psychotic illness. Its name is, Helen Angst Lunaticism.

Diagnosis, briefly:

  • Accept the fact that Helen Angst lives in madness. Angst is growing old fast and post-menstrual stress adds to the schizophrenia. For example, its time is not our sense of time so that, to it, 2 o’clock in the morning is just like 2 o’clock in the afternoon. Normal people with normal lives don’t have that luxury.
  • Amorality and godlessness comes with the madness. Hence, Helen Angst has no problem hugging national thieves, on the one hand, and shaking hands with turbaned religious mullahs on the other. It thrives on these contradictions so that a constant, relentless warfare, even imaginary ones, are necessary fuel to its existence; they’re its adrenaline.
  • The disease is parasitical in nature. That is, it requires a host. Once latched on to the host, it feeds, lives and thrives on the person until he/she dies upon which it jumps to another victim. Infection is by way of communication. Medical history has recorded a number of such sorry victims, most prominently one named Hannah Yeoh, today near dead.

Remedy, briefly:

  • Erase its existence out of your consciousness entirely. This might take time to bring out the desired results but a week nagged by its memories is better than a lifetime fed on by a parasitical mad dog.
  • Choose your own time and occasion to bite the mad dog. Never do so arbitrarily or at random. Remember that challenging Helen Angst will often and simply invites its madness into your life where, recall, the Angst thrives on struggling with the victim.
  • A blackout remedy has, however, a disadvantageous side effect, and Hannah Yeoh is classic in the case studies on the victims of the disease: the more Hannah ignored it, the louder Helen Angst shouted, the more inflamed it became. This is still continuing. The advantage, however, is this: the parasitical dog is kept physically away, quarantined, from your self and own home. Instead it is confined only to its own sphere, a blog cage which you’ve no control over anyway.
  • Occasionally, only occasionally, spit into the Mother of Angst. It is a jar of ashes in DAP’s Penang (the DAP related Red Bean Army disease and Helen Angst share great similarities and origin) and remember to remind the Mother: what a bitch of a specie raised and brought to this world. Chant the following, preferably aloud: “Please, please, Aunty, do something! For the peace of the world, please!” Also remember to offer joss sticks.

Final note:

Please donate all medical aid contributions for this advisory, otherwise offered free, to the tipper jar of this account: H10040030002ANG

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SMS to Ai

Dear Ai,

That green-eyed bitch Helen Ang has come between us, Annie and I. We quarrelled. Please advise. URGENT.

***

 

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